Writing
Thomas trudged along the sand gazing at the windsurfers as they tossed and turned in the waves. As he looked into the distance he saw a big crowd of people, he wondered why they were there. When he saw little children swimming in the ocean he could remember when he used to do that.
As he kept on strolling he could hear seagulls scavenging over scraps of food. When he sat down on the soft and craggy sand he looked around at all the people having fun. Thomas was really happy when he looked around at all the people having fun. He felt really cold so he decided to go back home for a rest.
WOW! I am just speechless! You have wrote an amazing piece of writing, Uili! You are doing so well in writing. Through out, you used interesting vocab and you had detail in pretty much every single sentence. Keep it up! But there is one thing you could work on and that is your sentence beginnings. I felt that you used the same words a lot. Other than that, you did a great job.
ReplyDeleteGloria